Le speech catastrophe
by Water-zone-8 and tee-hee-me
Summary: Cid wants Squall and his friends to give a speech in front of all the students...


The thank yous 

Please note all the characters are Squaresoft's. This fanfiction was written by tee-hee-me and edited by Water-zone-8.

Le speech catastrophe

One day Cid called Squall, Selphie, Quistis, Irvine and Zell to his office.

Cid: I have decided that the students of Garden need to have their spirits lifted, so I have told everyone that the five of you will each make a speech on how much you love the Garden and its students.

Everyone:!!!!!?????!!!!!

Cid (big smile): I am so happy you like the idea. Now hurry up and get ready, the speech is tomorrow.

Ten minutes later all five are trying to think of a suitable speech.

Squall: Whatever, the whatever, to whatever, of the whatever.

Zell: Hmm, I love Garden, because…because…because…grrrrrr I can't think of anything good. All I want to do is complain that there aren't enough hotdogs!

Irvine: Ummm, hmmmm, ermmm, arghhhh! There are not enough guns here! What can I talk about??… Quistis, you haven't stopped writing your ideas since you got here. Give me an idea pleaseeeeee.

Quistis: mmmm, be quiet I am writing!

Irvine: Grrrr I can see that!

Squall tries to think and starts itching his head.

Rinoa: Oh no!!! You don't have nits again do you??

Squall: WHAT?????? I HAVE NEVER HAD LICE!!!!

Rinoa: That's what you all say…

Selphie: Irvine…did you have nits?

Irvine: Of course not!

Quistis: Then why did you have nit shampoo in your bag?

Selphie: IRVY????

Irvine: Umm…just in case…Why did you search my bag??

Quistis: Teachers are allowed to do that.

Irvine: They are?

Rinoa: Of course, last week Xu found a hotdog in Zell's bag and porn in yours.

Selphie: WHAT???? IRVINE????

Irvine: I'm not here.

Selphie starts chasing Irvine around Garden, Rinoa tries to convince Squall to stop them, so only Zell and Quistis managed to finish their speech.

*

The next day.

Cid: I hope you finished your speeches. Squall, go first.

Squall goes to the microphone.

Squall: Hmmmm….a….e…er…um.

Rinoa: Say something!

Squall: Whatever.

Edea: Someone get him away from the mic!

Rinoa pushes Squall away.

Rinoa: Um sorry everyone we have to take Squall away because of a very important…whatever.

Cid: Quick Selphie, get up there and start your speech.

Selphie: Tee hee, er hi, er I want to say how wonderful this Garden is, and um I want to thank all the students for helping and attending the festivals I organise…

Cid: Good, this is better. 

Selphie: Now I have thanked you, if you want to thank me, please put money in the Selphie chocobo fund, so that I can buy a chocobo. 

Cid: NO NO NO I WAS WRONG!!!!!!

Selphie goes to Cid.

Selphie: What's wrong?

Cid: You are suppose to thank the Garden, not advertise your silly chocobo thing!

Selphie: Silly???? IRVY KILL HIM!!!!

Edea: Now, now clam down, what Cid meant was that was very interesting and Irvine is making his speech so why don't we listen to him.

Cid: No, I didn't…I meant…

Edea cover Cid's mouth.

Cid: MMffffmmmmmfffffgrrrrrr!

Irvine: Hello all hmmmm (_what should I say???…I got it!_) I love Garden and all the students, especially Selphie, Rinoa, Quistis, Lili, the blond girl…

Twenty minutes later…

Irvine: …the curly haired girl, the pig tail girl, the brunette with the mini, the redish haired girl, the girl right over there with blue eyes…

Selphie: GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Edea: Someone get him away!

Quistis: I will take care of it! Irvine…I am sorry but it is my turn.

Irvine: But I haven't finished yet!

Quistis: Did you hear what I said? It is MY turn…MY turn! MINE MINE MINE!!!!!

Irvine: Ok ok!

Irvine moves towards a red Selphie, who picks up his gun and starts chasing him again.

Quistis: Dear students of Garden, I am very pleased with almost all of you. That is why I have written a new tutorial for all of you…The importance of GFs is…

Forty minutes later…

Quistis:…and that is why GFs are important, but please don't forget that they have feelings and can get angry, so we must…

Edea: I thought this was to refresh the students so that they would wake up and work better…everyone is sleeping!

Cid: *snore* *snore*

Edea: Um, Quistis darling it is Zell's turn.

Quistis: But I haven't finished yet!…and Zell is sleeping!

Zell: Huh? What? My turn? Alright!

Zell rushes to the mic, hits Quistis away with his butt…

Zell: HEY PEOPLE!!!

All the Garden jumps.

Zell: Well now because I love you all I have written a poem for you.

Everyone groans.

Zell: Here goes:

Zell, Zell 

Fell down a well 

(_That was supposed to be a secret_)

Squall, Squall

Climb up a wall 

(_Squall: WHAT???_)

Seifer, Seifer

Put on a diaper 

(_Seifer: I will kill chicken-wuss! / Zell: That is my favorite part_ )

Cid, Cid

Forgot to lift the lid

(_Everyone: Ewwwww!!!! _)

Rinoa, Rinoa 

Bought a new mower

(_Rinoa: I never had an old one!_)

Selphie, Selphie

Got very wealthy

(_From the chocobo fund_)

Irvine, Irvine

Was created by magician Mervin

(_Irvine: I was WHAT? Who is Mervin? / Quistis: I think he means Merlin._)

Quistis, Quistis

Has got a mistress

(_Quistis: I have a WHAT!!!!!????????_)

Edea, Edea

Has got much Seeder 

(_Edea: Eh??? Students: Hmmmm…_)

Raijin, Raijin

Needs dental hygiene

(_Raijin: I don't, ya know! / Everyone: You do, ya know!_)

Fujin, Fuji

Is a tamaguchi 

(_Fujin: NEGATIVE_)

Ellone, Ellone

Wants to moan and groan 

(_Ellone: AAAA!!! *groan* *moan*_)

Ward, Ward

Sat on a sword

(_Ward:_ O_o _mmmmmffff_)

Laguna, Laguna

Choked on a tuna

(_Laguna:_ _ugh *cough* *cough*_)

Kiros, Kiros

Fell for a guy called Spyros

(_Everyone:Ooooooooo!!!! / Kiros: Who? What? Is there a Spyros here?_)

Nida, Nida 

Wants to be leader

(_Nida: Yes, I WANT IT, I WANT, I WANT!_)

Xu, Xu

Stepped on a poo

And that is why I love all of you!!!

(_Everyone: YUCK!_)

Cid and Edea: Le catastrophe!


End file.
